The I Story

Itchy, Inky and Ivy planned a very important vacation to the Land of

Imagination. They had eleven hours to plan this trip for seven days or they would

become invisible forever! Ivy chose the places to visit. Itchy was the navigator to

the land of Imagination and Inky wrote the itinerary and ordered the items needed

for the trip. Iceland, Italy, India, Iran, Iraq, Indonesia, Ireland and Israel were

places they planned to visit, to name a few. Indiana, Idaho, Illinois, and Iowa all

can be in the land of imagination, too!

Inky completed the itinerary, submitted it to the seven giant invisible imps and

pack the great Iron with all their gear, video equipment and instruments for the

trip.

While hanging on for dear life, Itchy, Inky and Ivy, flew backward on the great

Iron, through the keyhole in the front door, to their first site in the

starless, dark as ink night. Itchy navigated the great Iron so smoothly, that

nothing was broken or lost.

First, they landed in Italy to race the gondolas down the Grand Canal. AND THEY WON!

It was on to Pisa to paint the Leaning Tower icterine in the night.

They flew on to Indonesia and landed on an island to build ice blue iridescent

igloos that glowed.

Ivy had an idea to play the inci and indo dafli in Iran and Iraq, while the insects

and the indri danced. Inky answered an invitation to be interviewed by the Imperial

Inchworm of Ireland. Itchy then led the invasion of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, with

an iguana, ibis and impala at his side, his goal was to inflate an indigo balloon at

the top of the tower at the twelfth of the hour. Inky then isolated the intelligent

identical twin aye aye to imbibe in icaco juice, incaberries and ilama. Inky’s

increase in his meal of incaberries led to increased skin itching and eye

irritation, so badly, that Ivy had to invent an imaginary cure for Inky’s itching

that was driving him insane.

They boarded the great Iron and zoomed to Iceland where the Icelandic Sheepdog

ignored them while they independently ate iris ice cream and ilama. Ivy ignited a

fire to melt an iceberg to avoid injury to the great Iron and keep it intact. Itchy

played the ika, izeze and the inzad in an irregular concert for Italian Greyhounds

in Israel. Inky influenced several impartial Irish Setter chefs to include items

with indigo icing on their Indian menu.

When Inky, Itchy, and Ivy returned home on the great Iron, they had equally used

their intelligent imaginations to avoid banishment into the invisible land of

nothingness! Ivy was assigned to write and submit the latest issue of their travels

to the seven giant imps. Inky was assigned to upload a video of the travels to their

website. Itchy created a computer app to access all of their information about the

Land of Imagination. All were safe from becoming invisible, for now.

So, aye-aye and good bye!

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The R Story Too!

Reviewing the last episode of our rocket crew’s adventure, Roger, Rita, Rachel and

Raymond were in trouble and about to wreck the razzmatazz rocket in the river rock

rainstorm. The rocket was rolling out of control, it was rusted and the rudder and

gauges were damaged. The crew were not sure what to do next.

Rita radioed to the nearest planet for help. The closest planet was Ruso. It was

only 4 million miles away. The air traffic controller answered on the radio and

instructed their safe landing on the emergency wreck tarnac. The rocket wrecking

crew was waiting for their landing and used their giant wrecker to tow the rocket to

the rocket repair hangar for repairs.

In the meantime, the rocket crew went to the rocketport to rest and recuperate.

There were restrooms, restaurants and three recreation rooms at the rocketport.

Ruso was a planet where everyone went to vacation. It was known for its resorts,

restaurants, rodeo, rock climbing, river rapids rides and roller coasters. Ruso was

inhabited by rats, rabbits, raccoons, roosters, red river hogs, river dolphins,

rheas, reindeer, ringtails, rhinoceroses, robins, rufous rat-kangaroos and rock hyraxes.

There were no humans on the planet. All of the animals appeared to get along

together and were not concerned when others from different planets visited. After

all, Ruso was a vacation resort. The rocket crew relaxed and ate ratatouille and

ravioli and drank raspberry juice for two days, while their rocket was being

repaired.

On the third day of their stay, the door to one of the recreation rooms was suddenly

rammed open. There were three large rhinoceros standing in the broken door demanding

answers to the questions of who were they, where were they from, and why were they

there? The crew could hear the other guests running, screaming and hiding in fear.

Rachel introduced the entire rocket crew to the rhinos and explained the purpose of

their mission. Roger explained what happened to their rocket. The leader of the

rhinos was Roxanne. She was the largest of the three and she had no problem showing

her wrath that day. The other two rhinos, Rabia and Ramona did most of the ranting

and raving which scared most of the guests. Roxanne reminded the crew that their

stay was to be very short and to get out and do not return! The rhinos rudely

retreated from the recreation area. The rabbit in charge removed the rammed doors

and calmed the guests down and said that this was normal for the three rhinos to

rant and rave, they always tried to bully any guest that was human and wreck the

resorts. Rabbit said that their rambunctious raids would have to end soon or the

entire planet would suffer. The rocket crew reviewed the problem and decided to

help. Raymond checked on the progress of the rocket repair. He went to the hangar

where the rocket was being repaired and the raccoon in charge reviewed his roster as

he walked around it. The rocket was on a rack in the air with ten or more rats

making all of the repairs. The rudder was replaced, the rocker cover, and the radio

too. The rocket was sanded to remove the rust and painted razzmatazz red. The

raccoon continued to check his list. He announced that the rocket would be ready to

ride in four hours. Meanwhile, back at the rec room, Roger, Rita and Rachel planned

a way to save planet Ruso from the roaming, ruthless, ruckus of Roxanne and her

rhino gang. The rocket crew challenged the rhinos to a rocket racket ball game where

the loser must stop bullying and ripping up the planet. Roxanne and her rhinos

accepted the challenge. Raymond radioed to Roger that the rocket would be ready in

48 hours. Rita and Rachel shopped for the rackets and balls that they would need for

the rocket racket ball game. Roxanne and her rhinos replaced the worn parts on their

rhino rocket. Raymond soon returned with the razzmatazz rocket ready for the racket

ball game. The racket ball game began at two at the Grand Ruso Sport Stadium. The

game was sold out! It looked like all of the animals and visitors on vacation were

at the game. The rocket crew were in their ship reading the gauges and getting the

rocket ready for the game. Roxanne and the rhinos were in their ship which looked

like a giant surf board with a glass domed top. The game began with the red rubber

racquetball sailing toward Roxanne with rapid speed. Roxanne and her rhinos missed!

The crowd roared as the razzmatazz rocket crew scored! Roxanne served and the rocket

crew returned the ball and Roxanne missed again! This went on for more than an hour.

It was clear that the rocket crew had won this game of rocket racketball! When the

game ended, Roxanne was presented with the Rules of Ruso which included no bullying,

no reckless or rambunctious behavior. Roxanne agreed to repair all damage she and

her rhinos made on the planet. Roxanne and her rhino gang will be watched by radio

television and if they break the rules, they will be removed from the planet and not

allowed to return.Roxanne signed two copies of the agreement. The Razzmatazz Rocket

crew presented Roxanne and the rhinos a gift of peace and friendship. It was a big

basket of ramen noodles, radishes, raisins and ricotta cheese;snacks that the rhinos

really liked.

The residents and visitors of Ruso cheered with happiness because their planet was

saved!

It was again time for Roger, Raymond, Rita and Rachel to return to the razzmatazz

rocket to explore new galaxies, solar systems and planets and spread peace and

friendship. The next adventure was to the Rhombus galaxy!

The R Story

Roger, Rachel, Raymond, and Rita are ready for a new adventure as they will leave

the Milky Way Galaxy and explore new galaxies, solar systems, and planets in the

universe. They will be traveling in their razzmatazz rocketship to their first

destination, the Rhumba Galaxy, ten million light years away from earth. Rhumba

Galaxy has eight thousand solar systems. They decided to visit the Radon Solar

System and its planets to learn more about life in other galaxies and to spread

friendship. The rapid ride of their razzmatazz rocket ship took Roger, Rachel,

Raymond, and Rita to the red planet of Radius.

Radius looks a lot like earth except everything is red. Roger, Rachel, Raymond, and

Rita landed in an area that looked like earth’s Russia. On Radius it is called

Root. The people that live on radius have gold skin and blue hair. They are three

feet tall and have three eyes, arms, and legs and run really fast. All of the

buildings on Radius are round and are red, of course. The houses are round, the tall

buildings and short buildings are round. The cars and planes are round. The trains

are round. The only thing not round and red are the people. Roger, Rachel, Raymond

and Rita gave red rubber rafts, jump ropes, raspberry fudge and red hot bark as

gifts to the citizens of Radius. They also played red rover, red light-green light,

and rugby with the people. Soon it was time to board the razzmatazz rocket to go and

everyone waved goodbye. They were now off to the next planet called Reverse.

Reverse was a strange planet to Roger, Rachel, Raymond, and Rita. Everything was

backward! They landed in a place that looked like Rome on earth, but the statues

heads were on backward, the doors were on the roof of the buildings and houses and

the chimneys were on the ground. The people and the animals walked and flew backward

and their heads were on backward too! Everything moved backward. The cars, planes,

trains, bicycles, motorcycles, trucks and buses all moved backward and they were

rapid too. The people spoke Ruswanda, which sounded like backward English. Roger had

a special translator machine that he kept in his spacesuit pocket for times like

these. The favorite food here was rootbeer and rutabagas. The crew really enjoyed

watching the people eat and drink. It was like watching a circus or magic act where

the people folded themselves into painful shapes. Raymond took pictures with the

families and their relatives. The people were very friendly, but always in a rush,

moving and talking at a rapid pace in reverse. The crew decided it was time to

board the razzmatazz rocket and blast off to the next solar system eight billion

light years away. The trip this time was very rough. They had to pass through a

rainstorm of small river rocks that made rust marks on the razzmatazz rocket. The

rainstorm was so strong, that it broke one of the readings of the gauges on the

dashboard of the rocket! The special red ray lights in the rocket kept blinking on

and off until they went out! There was so much rubble and the rocket began to roll

as it passed through the rock rainstorm. Rita reported a rip on the right side of

the razzmatazz rocket, but no one is able to make any repairs at this time. The rain

is coming down harder now! Will Roger, Rachel, Raymond, and Rita make it to the

next solar system? Will the rock rainstorm wreck the razzmatazz rocketship? Stay

tuned next week to reveal the real answers as the R Story continues!

The V Story

It’s four A.M. and it’s still dark outside. Valerie

Vessyl is sitting on the veranda of her villa packing her very fresh verdant and

vermeil vegetables from her farm for Virgil Vinn to transport in his vegetable

transport van to the village. Virgil will deliver the vegetables to Vernon Vase’s

Grocery Store for vending and Vera Valen’s Restaurant for her famous viand vegetable

soup with vendace, veal, and venison. Virgil Vinn stops at all the farms and gardens

inside and outside the village and transports the fresh fruits and vegetables to the

restaurants, stores, schools, and hospitals in the village every day.

It’s now 6 A.M. and the sun is starting to rise.

Violet Vine is vacuuming her Dee-Vine-Flowers Shop in the village. She just received

her new delivery of vincas, verbenas, violets, viburnum, and venus fly traps from

Vanessa Vikfer’s Flower Delivery Service. Her vivid and vibrant vase arrangements

will vanish very quickly at the Video and Vocal Music Festival that starts today in

the valley at the edge of the village.

It’s seven A.M. and everyone is starting to stir in

the village. The children are rushing to school in lots of vehicles. Some children

are going by bus, some by bike, some by car and some walking briskly to their

schools. Parents are in cars on their way to work, stopping at Victoria Videl’s

Bakery for hot Vienna fingers, vitex and verbena teas, and coffees. The smell of

Venezuela, Vintage and Viennese coffees and vanilla fill the air.

It’s 9 A.M. and the rush is over. Everyone is at

work or school. Virgil Vinn has delivered the fresh vegetables to the schools. The

cooks in the kitchens in the schools have started making vegetable soup, vindaloo,

vla and Vienna sausages. You can hear the student’s voices down the halls as they

name their vowels, verbs and vocabulary words. Virginia Valley’s Clothing Store has

opened and she has just finished her bridal veils, velvet vests, and visors

displays, half off with vouchers. Verner the postal carrier is delivering his

packages and mail with such velocity! The Great Veldt Veterinary Clinic is quite

busy now. Voles, vultures, viscacha, vaquitas, and vangas are sitting in the

waiting room for their vaccines and vitamins.

It’s twelve noon and time for lunch! The students

are in the cafeteria eating their vegetables for lunch. The parents are at the

restaurants and cafe, eating the specials for the day.  Vana and Vorick

Vacations Shop show valuable vacations to Veracruz, Virgin Islands, Venezuela,

Vietnam, Venice, Verona via voyages. Vermont, Virginia and Vancouver views by

rail. Verity and Valentina visit the very sick and injured at Viking Hospital and

take verbena and violets in small vials to share with the patients there. The

Village fire trucks zoom with great velocity down the street to put out the grass

fire in a nearby veldt.

Three o’clock in the afternoon and the children are

out of school, on their way home to do volume, vocabulary, lessons on vertical and

horizontal direction, verb, and vowel homework. The school vehicles take them to the

bus stops and the children walk or ride their bikes home. The parents are still at

work.

Now it is 5:00 P.M. and there are many vehicles in

the streets of the village. Big cars, little cars, motorcycles, scooters, bicycles,

big trucks, little trucks, buses. These are all the parents going home from work.

Parents rushing home to prepare dinner for their families and check their children’s

homework. It’s time to get ready for the festival!

It’s seven P.M. and people are at the gate, in the

veldt in the valley of the volcano, for the Annual Video and Vocal Music Festival.

This year’s theme is the Victory of the Vikings, Vampires, and Vanity. The audience

must have a valid voucher to attend the festival. The vocalists and the audience

are singing all the verses to the songs with great volume. The orchestra is playing

the violins,  violas, veena, vakiha, virginal and vibraslap with the

vocalists. The videos are vivid and visible from every seat in the valley. The

audience joins in with the dance videos of the verbunkos and the vogue. You can

smell the vinegar and vanilla in the air from the cupcakes, cookies, dill and sour

pickles for sale.

Everyone is having a great time!

Now it’s 12 AM midnight and everyone is home in bed

asleep. All is quiet in the village. There is not a peep. Not a dog was barking or

cat meowing or a mouse squeak. Everyone is fast asleep.

The K Story

Keith Kiwi and The King Key Kids are playing at Kenneth’s Kitchen Club, in downtown Kentucky City, Kansas, this month. He and his band will be providing the dining guests with the most knockout, keen, kind of music.

Keith Kiwi will be playing his kora, kabyz, and kokle. Kerry Kangaroo will be joining him with his kalimba, kokinko, and kolintang. Kit Koala will be on kolokolo, kompang, and kosika. Kyle Kudu will be playing the koto, kakko, and the kalingo. Kurt Kinkajou will be the featured special guest on kempur, kes kes, and khartal. Vocals will be sung by Kiera Kerodon, Kendra Kite, and Khalil Kookaburra.

The wonderful and delicious menu at Kenneth’s Kitchen Club will be:

Kombu appetizers to knaw on,

Kabobs, kohlrabi, kumis, kale, kitambilla, kiwi, kie apple and ketembilla pies, kumquats, kefir bread, kedgeree, kingfish and knackwurst with ketchup for dinner, all cooked by Kenneth’s Kitchen Club’s kind chefs, Katherine Kodkod, Kaden Kultar and Kira Kakapo.

Drinks of fresh apple cider from the keg will be served through the night.

There will be after dinner exercises of dancing the knee kicking koftos and krumping to the kooky kazoo tunes that we all know led by The Kenya Khaki Kayak Knights dance instructors.

Be sure to make your reservations soon to the key to a wonderful evening, this month at Kenneth’s Kitchen Club in the kaleidoscope town of Kentucky City, Kansas!